May 4, 2009

Deep inside

I was trying to describe my feelings to a friend. And I did an awfully bad job.

I couldn't help but thinking what has gone wrong with me? And what scared me the most is, I could not even remember immediately whether I was like this six years ago.

Maybe not. I cannot be.

There seems to be a part of me that has been dissipating away in the past six years of life. The ability of expressing myself gradually become disabled. Is it a normal process of growing up and gaining maturity? Or is it simply a side-effect of trying too hard to live my new identity?

A Friend once texted me saying that I need to open my mind more. I never forgot that text message which has been archived for a long time.

I want to. I always want to.

Maybe it is time to try, and to try harder to look for an open sky deep inside.

Note: Cape Cod Coast Guard Beach 2009.05.02

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